Scary Thoughts

Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts: A book review

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Remember that song by Usher, “These are my confessions”??? Well here is my confession, it’s quite shocking…..I HATE TO READ. I really do. Even though I love to learn and find tremendous value in reading, I just don’t care for it (and don’t try and convince me to try audio books, because I just can’t absorb the information the same way in audio format!). But when this book by my hero, social worker and postpartum expert Karen Kleiman came out, I had to suck it up, purchase the book and dive in.

First a word about scary thoughts:

Most if not all new mothers will experience scary thoughts regarding the safety of their baby. These thoughts can be intrusive, vivid, and even violent at times, hence the name “scary thoughts”. These thoughts DO NOT mean that the mother is at risk of hurting her baby or herself. In fact, the distress caused by these thoughts, although quite unpleasant is a good sign to a therapist that the mother will not act on them. Unfortunately, moms are often terrified to share that they experience these thoughts for fear of being judged as “crazy” or even having their baby taken away.

The book is a great resource to provide education about these scary thoughts, normalize the experience and reduce the stigma around them. It is written in a lighthearted way with comics style illustrations depicting the types of secret scary thoughts moms experience while caring for their baby and in their everyday interactions.

In addition to the illustrations, the opposing pages have valuable information about what the thoughts mean, affirmations for moms, and even action steps for how to manage that particular thought or subject matter. The chapters address the different types of thoughts moms can have including general thoughts about motherhood, safety, the transition to parenthood, unsolicited advice from others, comparison, breastfeeding and much more.

Just because scary thoughts are common, what typically needs to be addressed in treatment is the distress that they cause. The book does a good job helping moms understand when and how to get help. The back of the book also has resources to access including helpful websites, how to find a trained therapist, and additional reading.

What I like about the book is that the information is delivered in small "bites”, which are much easier to digest, not just for a non-reader like me but certainly for a busy and overwhelmed new mom. The information, while covering a serious topic is presented with a lighthearted tone which helps it to be accessible to everyone who reads it. The book rings in at about twelve bucks and change on Amazon which comes in way under some of Kleiman’s other works.

I highly recommend this book for any mom. I think it would make a great baby shower or new mom gift. I’m a big fan of the adage “an ounce of prevention if worth a pound of cure”, so if a mom read this book before she experienced any scary or anxious thoughts she may be less likely to be blindsided by them and more likely to talk about them or reach out for help. I also think the book can be a tremendous resource for the partners, family, and others who support new moms.

If you or someone you know are having scary thoughts that are causing a lot of distress or interference in their life. It may be time to get some help. Feel free to reach out to me on the “Contact Me” page for more information.

And click here to order your copy of “Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts”.